The Rusty Toolbox. Wisconsin Badgers vs. Iowa Hawkeyes

So, the saying goes that college football is only played on Saturdays and any Saturday.. anything can happen.  This is not always the case as some physical games occur on Friday nights.  Madison.com covered the basics of the story well, but they missed out a few things.. mainly my opinion.  For those of you that didn't click on the link, nearly every year for the past 10 the Wisconsin football managers have played the Iowa football managers in a slugfest of a football game.  The keys here are that the game is supposed to be:  1.  Friendly and 2.  Flag-football. 

This becomes difficult when you are playing against a bunch of grade A douchebags.  I was a part of this game for four seasons, including the famed "Hammergate" in which Iowa claims we illegally used this guy.. illegally.  He was legal, and he was actually pissed at our team because we made him play defense.. he wanted to play running back.  IN A FLAG FOOTBALL GAME.  The guy was mad because we wouldn't let him play RUNNING BACK.  To the day, I'm not sure Coach Hammock knew that a RB in flag football can't do much damage, especially when his game was clearly built off of power and size.  I love you Coach, but lets be serious.. you're not Reggie Bush.  So, moral of the story is we pitched a dominating shut-out.  18-0.  Some say that we looked like the Ravens defense that day, others say that Hammock had Reggie White funneling through him.  Some Iowa fans claim we had 12 defenders in a 7 on 7 game (not shockingly, they were both cross-eyed after being kicked in the head by pigs)  I say, we were just a better team that day.. much like in life.  

The rest of the years weren't so good.  The games got a tad bit violent with cheap shots being thrown by their dirty team.  It was like playing against 7 Ric Flair's in his prime; many called him the dirtiest man in the game because of his eye rakes and cheap shots.  They had one real tool in particular that was one of those guys that acts tough after the whistle and when the refs aren't looking, but then when somebody is looking he's flopping and flailing around like Manu Ginobli.  Real soft, real weak, and a real loser.  Frustrating is the only word that can describe how it felt to lose to somebody like this.. maybe even embarassing.  I hate to lose, but I'm not going to lie.. I took comfort in the fact of a few things after one of our several losses to Iowa:
1.  I'm not from Iowa.
2.  I didn't go to Iowa.
3.  I'm not from Iowa.
4.  When I woke up in the morning; I still had something in life to obtain because for them.. it's all they had. 

This years game should be no different than years past.  Some drunk UW Band members will make their way to the game and former players will see what the game is really like.  One thing, I am confident in this year, however, is that when the players walk down to the Inntowner for breakfast in the morning.. the Rusty Toolbox will be sitting out for them to see.  All eyes will be on the prize and guys like Gooch, Dingles, the Italian, and Perrins will be celebrating into the night.  JUMP AROUND, BUCKY!