Big 10 Network

I have a love/hate relationship with the Big 10 Network.  You see, I am from Wisconsin, land of cheese, cows, brats, burgers and Big 10 Sports.  The weather, the game atmosphere, the rivalries, the fans, and the ugly fights in the trenches appeal to me.  So, naturally the Big 10 previews, the classic games, and the live games are amazing to me.  Look, I hate Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Michigan, and Ohio State; I mean really hate.. yet, here I tun in and watch Iowa beat LSU on a hail mary, Michigan vs. Ohio State, Ohio State's improbable win over Miami.  Why?  I think they are clearly great games; I know the players, the tradition, and the result.  I laugh to myself watching Jeff George sling the rock, ol Jess Settles battling in the paint, and seeing Desmond Howard strike the pose.  Just classic.
Yet, the channel recently crushed me.  Single handily.  I was on top of the world, and the next thing I know I was Brandon Marshall/Jay Cutler.  Laying over in the corner, crying.  Sobbing uncontrollably.  It was a beautiful Saturday; I had gone to the Farmer's Market to help out the locals.  A great cause.  Upon returning to the car, I had a voicemail from my dad; the classic battle of titans on the Big Ten Network.  No, not Indiana vs. Northwestern.. #5 Purduh vs. #12 Wisconsin at Ross-Ade Stadium.  A colossal showdown, Purduh hyped it up as "When Mega-Powers Collide"  Sound familiar?  Yeah, that's because they stole it from Savage vs. Hogan (true megapowers).  Allegedly, this was bigger, West Lafayette, a city of intense cabby drivers, one of the best food joints in the Midwest, and a typically mid-level football team was on top of the world.  Kyle Orton was doing his best Jeff George impression and the defense appeared as tough as nails.  The city was full of big talk and Rose Bowl aspirations.
Naturally, the game didn't disappoint.  Anthony Davis pulled up with an injury.  Erasmus James took a famous cheap shot cut block from Charles Davis, and the game turned into a defensive slugfest.  Late in the 4th quarter, the game was on ice, put it in the bag, the annoying train was whistling, and Kyle Orton was on his way into Heisman talk with a naked bootleg scramble for a 1st down.  Errrrr... until the most improbable play ever occurred as Orton was helicoptered into the air.  The result was this.  I believe it was the Pontiac Game Changing play for the entire year.. but it really wasn't even the best play in the whole game.  20-17 and Purdue was storming back, in the middle of their rally, I, inadvertently, placed myself on national TV with the WORLD watching.
Purduh picked up a few 1st downs and were eventually on about the 25 yard-line, UW was out of time-outs and on their heels.  A certain unnamed "GA" signing in calls for the Badgers was corded up and constantly around the chain gang.  Numerous times I pulled him back, so the chains didn't get caught on his headset cord; I couldn't yell at him.  He heard as well as Helen Keller, at least she could talk with her hips, right?  With the game on the line, he physically slapped my hand, turned and yelled a harsh, vulgar word at me and sprinted down the sideline tied up with the chain gang.  For those that know him, you'd be shocked to know he didn't shout, "MAN ON MAN!  BEAST ON BEAST!  WHO IS THE BAD-DEST BEAST?"  It quickly became pandemonium.  The chains were completely wrapped up with the headset cord and literally ripped a hole in his khakis and ripped the headset off of his head.  The chains couldn't be straightened out; the refs had to stop the game.  Coach Alvarez was going ballistic, the unnamed GA melted to the background like the Coach from The Waterboy when the going got tough.  He was nowhere to be found, so there I am trying to untangle these cords.  Game stopped, refs and chain gang standing around the Big Show (me).  The guys on ESPN were loving it, going all John Madden teleprompter on me and replayed Alvy's reaction then John Maddened me again.  No big deal, I was like Maniac Magee untying Cobble's Knot, except I didn't get free pizza for a lifetime; I just got to keep my job.  I had the knot untied, no big deal, by that time we didn't need signals the game was too intense and nobody was paying attention anyway.
The inadvertent time out worked; Wisconsin gathered their breath, Two Beez coached 'em up and Orton lost his swagger and threw 3 straight incompletions.  Ben Jones pushed the 42 yard FG attempt wide right and Wisconsin won an improbable game. 
A miracle UW comeback, yet, you wouldn't even know about this important momentum stopping timeout and me on national TV if you watched the BTN edition of the game.  It was gone, spliced, now an unknown, an afterthought, laying somewhere on the film room floor.  That's why I hate them; years on the sideline my defining moment, the most significant contribution that I made to Badger football is now forgotten.  Well, unless you have the tape, like I do somewhere around here (sweet, I know).  So, what I think is you should email the Big Ten Network and let them know that you want to see the most defining moment of that game, why did Purdue's drive stall?  What could have stopped them?  What slowed them down?  You need to know.  You have the right to know.  

P.S.  Watch the Scott Starks fumble return video to the end, does anybody else think that is Dontez Sanders best tackle in his career or is it just me?

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